Thoughts and weekend plans

David Bowie

I was sad to see the news of David Bowie’s death. To me, he was an 80s icon, the Goblin King, and I always smile when listening to his 80s hits.

Despite the David Bowie indoctrination from my abusive ex (long story), seeing David Bowie live was a definite highlight of my limited concert experiences. Seeing him on the Earthling tour at the Electric Factory was, well, electric, and my second favorite concert of all time. He was my first concert in 1990 during Sound and Vision, and I got to see him again at Area 2 on the Camden Waterfront during his Heathen tour.

I look forward to checking out his new and last work.

Alan Rickmansmall

The news of Alan Rickman’s death was somehow more of a shock. Maybe I was still semi-reeling about David Bowie. Maybe my memories of Alan Rickman aren’t tainted by the bullshit from my ex. I don’t know. I don’t have a close connection with Harry Potter, but so many of my friends do and they’re devastated (regardless of their opinions of Severus Snape).  I did love Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard, as the Metatron in Dogma, and as Doctor Lazarus/Alexander Dane in Galaxy Quest. He had a beautiful voice that will not be forgotten by anyone who has been asked to turn to page three hundred and ninety four.

In other news, my weekend windup begins! Tonight it’s Stitch & Bitch with the yarn ladies, tomorrow is Friday Night Writes with my NaNo friends (and H50 night with Ricechex), and Saturday is D&D with my awesome group of NaNo ladyfriends. Our food theme this week is “breakfast for dinner”, and I found a recipe for a slow-cooker breakfast casserole that should be tasty. Sunday will be a quiet chore day and Monday is a holiday and thus will be a sleep-in-and-sloth day. Maybe I’ll go to a coffee place and try and get some writing done. Maybe I’ll listen to some David Bowie and watch Galaxy Quest again. It’ll depend on the weather, both literal and emotional.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

 

 

 

 

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Resolutions and Miscellany

I quite enjoyed both the first Stitch & Bitch (Thursday) and the first Write-in (Friday) of 2016! The gang at Knit Wits had a belated holiday party, and it was good to see everyone again after foregoing the yarn in November in favor of NaNoWriMo. One of my 2016 resolutions is to complete at least one project (if not more) that I began in 2015 before moving on to a new one for 2016.

pileoffailure

The Write-In at the local Panera was CROWDED and, after three weeks of not really seeing anyone, more social than creative. It happens, and it was just as nice to see everyone and reconnect after the holidays. My second resolution for 2016 is to complete at least one fic that I began in 2015 (or, in the case of my Teen Wolf NaNo fic, 2014) and get it posted to AO3.

Considering that I ended up shredding my pile of shreddables yesterday when I was going to sit and write, this might be harder than I thought. What was that saying, that your dorm room is never as clean as finals week? We’ll see how that plays out!

Finally, I think I need to throttle back on reading the Raised By Narcissists subreddit. It put me in a really bad state of mind last night thinking about something my mother said to me and it took me forever to fall asleep. My therapist talked to me once about flooding myself with too much of what triggers my PTSD, and I’ve fallen back into that pattern. I’ll stick with Captain Awkward for a while.

Finally-finally, it’s a sad day when we lose an icon. RIP David Bowie. Your music and your influence will never be forgotten.

Favorite Places

Rudi (bless her) linked me to an amazing H50 McDanno fic, and it brought up a LOT of feelings and memories.

In the fic, Steve wants to show Danny the places that bring up good memories for him from his past. It’s happened in canon too, and I hadn’t thought about it when it showed up on the show. In reading the fic, however, it got me to thinking about my childhood and similar memories.

I really don’t have any that are tied to places, like Steve’s are. Sure, Dad took me places and we did things together, but outside of the requisite trips to Disney World, they were nearly always places that he wanted to go, and nearly always things that he wanted to do.

For example:

  • Fishing – He loved fishing. He loved to take me fishing, but it wasn’t the bonding experience that you think of when you think of a father and child fishing together. There were no quiet conversations about what was going on in our lives, or really any attempt to talk if we weren’t with a guide. It was Dad fishing and him teaching me to fish, and me not doing well at it. He kept taking me, and we had some interesting trips together while bass fishing in Florida or steelhead fishing on Salmon River, but it was mostly getting up ungodly early, Dad fishing and chatting with our guide, and me not doing that well at it. Did I enjoy fishing when we caught things? I did. Would I ever go fishing again? Not on my own; it’s not all that fun for me.
  • Softball – I never once expressed an interest, and barely knew how to play when Dad signed nine-year-old me up for little league. During the five years I played, he alternately coached and managed our team. I wasn’t good at it; no really, I played right field a LOT. I never felt close to anyone on the team (there were VERY close friend-groups on the team, and I was a shy kid that wasn’t one to try and break into them). I most definitely didn’t contribute to our team’s victories, but Dad loved it, and I guess that he thought I loved it too.  I liked that he didn’t foster a WIN OR DIE attitude on our team, and good sportsmanship was held above all. We didn’t razz the other team if we won, and if we lost, we’d do better next time. When all was said and done, however, I never played sports competitively after I turned thirteen.
  • Nature – This is something that I did learn to love with him, and I cherished our nature hikes at various parks around Bucks County and on vacations. I may not remember if we caught anything on one fishing trip or another, but I still remember seeing my first wild bald eagle, and an alligator, during one of our fishing trips in Florida. I remember seeing a moose, a coyote, and a pika during a trip to Montana. I learned how to identify hawks and eagles and ducks and other birds and wildlife, and I think of him every time I see a deer or a bird of prey, or wave to the bald eagle(s) I see on the way to work in the morning.

I was glad to see him happy whenever we did these things. I’m glad to see (via Facebook connections) that others’ lives were touched by his presence and encouragement either at fishing or softball or nature.

But that’s not to say we didn’t bond! My happiest memories with Dad didn’t involve going anywhere but the couch in the den, where we journeyed to new worlds together. Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The A-Team, Friday the 13th: the Series…these are the “places” that make me think of Dad. We watched 1776 every Fourth of July. He took me to my first Star Trek convention, and several more around the Philly and southeast PA area.

We bonded through fandom.

He would tell me about new shows that I think I’d like all the time, and a good 90% of the time he’d be right. When I was going through my Dad’s stuff after his death, I saw that he still had a copy of an X-Files fanzine where one of my fics was published.

So I may never take someone fishing or to a ball game, or on a nature hike (but I’ll point out every hawk I see whenever we’re out together). But if I want to show them a movie or a TV show? It’s like Steve taking Danny on a six-mile hike to show him petroglyphs and a gorgeous view.

Places don’t always have to be places.

McDanno couch